Father's Day: my dad

So far, on this blog, I've mostly talked about being half Native American.  Father's day, however, is the perfect time to talk about the other side. 

My dad is black and does not like when people say African-American because it insinuates that we did not originate here.  He was born and raised on American soil, so therefore he is American, not anything else.  I wish everyone thought this way.  Life would be ALOT less complicated.

Growing up, my dad was very strict and as a result I was very well-behaved, very quiet, but also very goal-oriented.  A lot of people didn't understand or like the goal-oriented/driven part about me because they thought I was trying to show off or whatever, but my dad taught us to be that way. 

He grew up in Charlotte, North Carolina during a time when schools were still segregated and crosses were still being burned and left in people's front yards.  Somehow, during our Sunday morning, breakfast conversations (when I was a kid) , he always managed to overlook that part of his past and instead focus on stories about his youth that might teach us a lesson. 

He talked about how he went to an integrated school so he could play football, his prom night, working in the fields with his dad, practicing for basketball, and meeting the Air Force recruiter.  I once asked about the racism and segregation, but he just brushed it off.  "Nah, I didn't worry about any of that."  That's how my dad is.  If it will cause negativity in your life, just brush it off, turn around, and keep heading in a better direction. This has become one of the most important lessons in my life and something I constantly remind myself to do. 

My dad thought about the future when he was a kid and how it could turn out.  He chose the best direction for him and now he is a successful and incredibly business-savvy person.  Even though I disagreed with him a lot, and still sometimes do, I couldn't have asked for a better role model.

Summer Sessions

School's out....okay, not really.  For my 7 year old, school is out and he is having fun at camp all summer, while my husband and I still work.  My 2 year old is in daycare and well, school is kind of ongoing for him.  The difference is that now both of our sons are learning through play rather than structured lessons.  My youngest enjoys this method of learning throughout the year.  Now, my older son is able to reap the benefits as well.  He goes on field trips every day that promote physical activity as well as creative thinking.  It almost feels like he is learning more this way.  He comes home and tells us about his day and asks a lot of questions.  He reads more (language/literacy), explores more (science/social studies), and creates (art) more. 

The learn-through-play topic has come up a lot in my research writing courses.  Most of my students are military, but I also have a lot of students who are Head Start teachers.  They are always finding ways to explain why so much more can be achieved through play.  As a former pre-school teacher, I always find myself agreeing with them.  Who wants to sit in a classroom all day and stare at words and numbers?  In my classes, I always try to find a way to get the point across in the most creative way possible.  Yes, there is a lot of writing, but we also have court-room debates, impromptu speeches, proposal writing about classes that the students would like to see offered, and group presentations on marketing strategies to recruit new students.  The students tell me how much they love coming to class and I know they are more likely to remember what they learned because they associate each activity with the lessons.  I usually end up seeing my students later at graduations or just around the island and they always bring up things we did in class.  I feel so proud to be adding to their college memories in a constructive way.  Especially since my college memories are flooded with night life, romantic encounters, and island adventures.  I appreciate those memories, but sometimes I really wish I would've paid more attention in class.  Only certain teachers ever made me pay attention and it wasn't until my senior year.  So, even though I hope to one day be teaching more specific college English courses (in the graduate division) at a university for a long time, I'm so happy to be working with the undergrads. 

On another note, it's summer now!  I've been to the beach ALOT and this past weekend I went to a music festival.  That definitely reminded me of college, but not in a good way (late hours, large crowds, super loud music, second-hand smoke, and overpriced drinks).  I waited forever to see the rapper/singer I bought the tickets to see and he didn't show up until 1 in the morning! I felt so old because I used to be able to stay wide awake for longer than that, but not anymore.  It didn't end until 2am and I have felt hungover (only 4 cran and vodkas) ever since.  Wow, 31.  = /





Thought of the day: Have you ever taken a really fun class where you ended up learning a lot more than you thought you would without even realizing it?  I have a few favorites, (spanish, literary theory, nature writing, creative fiction writing, etc.) but one of the most memorable was a memoir class I took at UMASS.  I learned so much about memory and also myself in the process. I was able to write about the fun college times and stop trying to relive them, which seems to be a struggle that alot of post-grads go through.  I also figured out how much I love writing, especially about experiences on the reservation. 

Facing the candles

So, I have been avoiding facebook and this blog for a couple of weeks because my birthday was coming up and for some reason this was the first time I was not excited, at all.  For weeks I have been thinking about the past and certain people from the past and I can't get them out of my head.  It just happened randomly and then my birthday came and my husband (who always likes to make a big deal out of my birthdays) asked what I wanted to do and I really just wanted to forget that I'm now officially in my thirties and not do anything.  It's still bothering me, but I think I know why this suddenly happened.  We are down to our last 11 months on this island.  Hawaii has become a big part of my life.  I decided to come to school here 13 years ago, after years of saying that I would only go to Syracuse University (where I got accepted by the way) because it was my dream school.  I only applied there, but later during that last year of high school, I decided I should have a backup school just in case.  When I went to a college fair, I looked for schools that were far away from Washington state. I wanted to be completely on my own.  Chaminade University was there and I applied.  When I got the acceptance letter I was excited, but not as excited as when I got the acceptance letter from Syracuse.  In the end, it was about cost and Hawaii ended up being cheaper than upstate New York.  Go figure. So, I came here, went to school, partied, was a serial dater, and then suddenly during my last year of college, I met my husband.  Everything seemed to go by so fast.  We moved, and moved, then came back, and now here we are, after almost 5 years of being back, we are down to our last 11 months.  This is the longest I've ever lived in one place and it's really become my home this time around.  It's sad and scary to think about leaving now.  This is a first for me because I have moved my entire life and I was so excited just a couple of months ago about being able to find out where we're going next (we find out in August).  I kind of feel like I belong here, but then again, that's also how I felt about Boston, so I guess it's just nerves and the next place will feel like home too, wherever it is. 

Thought of the day: During a conversation with a coworker, we talked about how some people stay in the same place forever because it's home and they're afraid of leaving, even though there might be more opportunities somewhere else.  I thought about how a lot of Natives stay on the reservations because it's home to them.  My mom left and I wouldn't be here stressed out about being 31 if she hadn't.  What makes certain people decide to leave home?  For me, it was proving to myself that I could do everything on my own and being able to take risks without worrying about what anyone else thought.  Those risks led me to where I'm at now, so moving turned out to be a good thing, but there's just something about the idea of "home" that always calls my name.  Sometimes I'm jealous of the people who grew up in one place and talk about it all the time.  But then I think about how I wouldn't have been able to experience everything I have if I hadn't moved. In the end, I'm a wanderer and I'm okay with that.

Visual History

My husband had been wanting to go to the Pacific Aviation museum for the past four years now, but something else always seemed to come up. That could partially be my fault because I always hated history class in high school.  Somehow I managed to do well in my college history classes because I'm decent at writing papers, but I still doodled in the margins of my notebook and wrote notes to my friends and made weekend party plans.   I also skipped a lot of class to go to the beach.  The only history class I actually paid attention in was the pacific island history class I took my junior year of college.  Something about princes and princesses gets my attention every time.  The funny thing though, is that I love movies based on history.  Especially, movies that involve Natives or African-Americans (Wind Talkers and The Tuskeegee Airmen).  I really feel like the delivery of the material is the most important step in teaching.  As a student, I loved to read, but not boringness that came in the form of a text book with a kajillion dates and facts that I had to remember for a test.  Most students I know are the same way.  They are able to learn through a combination of visual, oratory, and tactile lessons.  The museum uses all three.  You are able to see the planes, watch the film, listen to the documentary portions, and actually try flying in a flight simulator.  If only I were a history teacher, I would definitely have field trips to the museum every term.  It seems like such a great way to put students in the atmosphere and really get them engaged in learning about WWII and all of the things surrounding that era.  Here are some photos (from my instagram ofcourse)....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thought of the day: How do you make something boring (but exciting to you) seem interesting to someone else?  This is something I think about every term as I have students who complain (without fail) each time on the first day of the term, how much "they hate English." Fortunately, for them, I was once a student and know exactly how they feel, so by the end of the term, they have learned "how not to hate English" and they will also remember how much fun they had in the process.

 

 

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Charming Spaces

I finally updated my iphone! It's been over a year and I still would have had the old settings if it wasn't for my addiction to Candy Crush Saga.  That's the only reason I use facebook anymore!  I couldn't add it to my phone without the update. So, while I was updating the apps, I decided to add some too.  As a result, I now have Instagram, which I have been playing with all day today.  I was trying to decide what to take pictures of and ended up taking pictures of stuff on my desk at work.  This made me think of the different spaces that Natives spent alot of time in.  I looked up teepees and found some interesting things here: http://nativeamericans.mrdonn.org/plains/teepees.html

I think every space where you spend a lot of time should have some element of the things you love most.  I love my family, faith, nature, art, and literature.  I only took a few pics of my desk and the building (I'm sure I will be adding more later, I love this app!). 

 
Thought of the day: Where is your favorite space and what elements in that space represent your personality?  My favorite space is my living room.  The book shelf with all of the books and pictures of my kids, the black & white city scape art on the walls, and the plush sofas with pillows in bright jewel tones all make me content and happy.  It is a great place to be at the end of day.

Just sweat it out (stress that is)!

Between the two graduations, the boys' birthday party, teaching, paperwork, and trying to squeeze in time to finish my book, I have been really stressed out.  Throw in lack of sleep and I was in a particulary foul mood yesterday.  Then I felt like people were taking advantage of my niceness and I almost erupted, but managed to stay calm, but thoroughly frustrated.  Then I went home and everything seemed to dwindle down. Family always makes things better.  After a delicious dinner of soba with these really good noodles (House Ramen) that my husband found at the grocery store, we combined the boys' birthday money with the yard sale money from a couple of weeks ago and went on a small shopping spree for the family.  Our Wii (which we've had since 2006 when it first came out) suddenly stopped working and (after numerous attempts to fix it) we figured it was time for a new one, especially since we use it so much.   Our older son wanted to use his birthday/tooth fairy money for skylanders giants, so along with that we ended up getting a Wii U.  It's all set up and I can't wait to try it out later this evening!  The retail therapy definitely helped improve my mood, along with a little red wine.

This morning on the way to work, the tension started to appear again, but while driving I thought about this blog post I read last week.  It was so good that I actually ordered the book for my kids from Amazon.  Read the blog post here: http://freespiritpublishingblog.com/2013/05/06/guest-post-flying-frustrations-on-a-spring-evening/

The key steps to stress management provided by the children's book in the post are: name it (the problem), tame it (a solution to the problem), and reframe it (find something positive from the problem).  I went through these steps in my head and they actually worked.  This got me to thinking about the Native approach to stress management.  One interesting thing that I found was about sweat lodge ceremonies.  They were introduced as a way for Natives to re-purify themselves.  This reminded me of my life before my day job (which I started in December) when I went to the gym with one of my friends every day during lunch time and we sat in the sauna after our workouts.  We talked about; relationships, jobs, future plans, kids, shopping, etc. and the steam (plus the girl talk) always seemed to leave us refreshed, as if it had cleansed all of the stress and carried it away. 

Read about sweat lodge ceremonies here: http://www.barefootsworld.net/sweatlodge.html


Thought of the day: How do you stay stress-free?  My favorites are retail therapy (even something as simple as going to the grocery store for dinner items or a magazine), reading, writing (which is why I'm able to update this blog so much), and looking at random fashion stuff online, check out this video about scarves from Coach (so cute!): 

Donations and Secret Obsessions

On a recent assignment for my students, I had them watch a video and then write a paper examining one issue and stating how the research process was used in the film to discuss the issue.  The documentary "Alicia in Africa" told of the AIDS epidemic and how it plagues families in Africa, leaving many children without parents.  One paper I received that really made me think examined how each person spends their money.  The student exclaimed, "Some people spend $20,000 or more on cars they don't really need, while there are children in Africa fighting to keep their parents alive with antiretroviral drugs that cost a mere $30 a month.  We can do something about this, but we don't." Another student explained how he "turned the film into family movie night to teach his kids about the world and showing compassion for others." Needless to say, I was proud of them.  At the particular university I work for, the mission is not only to educate students academically but also on another level, which is hard to put into words. 

The documentary is heartbreaking, but you can't stop watching.  There is something about culture in general that attracts people.  The film is filled with cultural elements that attract viewers, then hook them with the cause.  We learned about three different appeals in argumentative writing; rational, emotional, and ethical.  This film contained all three, but there was definitely emphasis on the emotional.  I've seen it a few times, but each time I end up getting lost in that world.  It's like when you read a really good book from cover to cover and then when you're finished it takes an hour or so to get back to reality.  This film does exactly that.  Check it out here:

http://www.aliciainafrica.com/


Thought of the day: Is there some secret obsession you have that you spend a lot of money on?  I, for example, love purses.  I spend a lot of money on them and then lie when people ask me where I got them or how much they are.  I say things like, "The store was having a really good sale so it was this much (insert percentage) off," or "It was a gift."  I lie because I feel guilty and then have conflicted feelings, while trying to justify my purchases.  I mean, I work several hours a day, so shouldn't I be able to splurge every now and then?  Last year though, I made a New Year's resolution to give back as much as I could.  So I donated and stopped shopping, cold turkey, okay okay, except for the trips to Target (another blog post because I can't explain in one sentence how I have a LOVE/hate relationship with that store).  This year, my resolution was to work toward reaching certain goals (writing my first book, 10 pages left!!!) and eating healthier so I can finally wear the collared Burberry shirt my husband got me back when I was a size 4 (before kids), but I haven't forgotten how good it felt to donate.  In the video, Alicia Keys mentions toward the end that "everyone has this gap in their life, an unsettling feeling like something is missing that they can't explain.  Giving back to others will fill that gap."